My Alleged Obese Posse

I "friended" someone on Facebook not too long ago who wanted to be my friend. She saw a comment I had posted on one of the vegan pages I follow. I follow many vegan sites and do not remember which one. As soon as she friended me, she was enlisting my help in all sorts of things. I helped her find grants for college and answered such questions as how one applies to college. I try to help when I can and when it's needed. That's all fine and good.

Recently said person has posted various posts on her own irresponsible life choices. To each his own. 

Yet, today, she posted on how it was impossible for someone to be both healthy and obese. I said that you cannot tell the health of someone just by looking at them. She went on and on stating that you can judge a person's health just by looking at them if they are obese. She said this without backing it up with any proof, studies, or data of any sort. I debated it logically, citing scientific studies, personal facts, and other detailed information. She just kept repeating that she didn't believe it even when presented with objective sources. 

Then she grew increasingly condescending. I'd call it verbally abusive for sure, and, after I reminded her of the study I provided, she stated, "these 'studies' you read, robin, are from your posse of obese friends trying to be ok w/ being obese. i find that VERY offensive to the public at large, trying to make it out to be OK!?"

My obese posse? I explained to her that, instead, a man who was not overweight at all had given me the study, she said he must like bbw. That there are men who do. 

Backing up here, when I explained this fact, which is an excerpt from an article I had the good fortune of having published for Friends of Animals' Action'Line, "more weight often means training harder. My muscles, heart strength, and endurance need to be stronger to do the same amount of running as those of average weight."

After I explained that....this person chose to state that such a thing meant that I run differently as in a deformed way, as her "friend" was trying to state that obese people cannot walk right. 

Her bigotry grew immense, and I was tempted to bring up her own loudly broadcast poor choices that she had recently made. I mean, if you are going to be so hatefully judgmental, get your own self in check first. I went there. I shouldn't have, but I could not take the repeated insults any longer. I just couldn't.

I think the person is a bigot with a very low IQ. She has shown this time and again, and I blocked her. After doing that I was bummed because I think that means that your comments are also blocked from appearing on the page, and I feel I made some sane points to her violently hateful language that showcased extreme prejudiced for people of a larger size. 

I will not engage in such conversations with such extreme idiots again, if I can help it, but I just try so hard to reach out and dim out the flames of ignorance and cruelty. It is impossible to do that for the whole world, but I was just trying to make some sense out of such horrible behavior and language. 

This bully has been lately publicly admitting to quite a lot of foolishness. I do feel sorry for this person. Truly, I do, but she needs to grow up and not spread her bigotry around. Chosen ignorance is a terrible thing. So I am learning to quickly spot abusers and quickly remove them from my life. A lesson learned is trouble out the door, and she is out that door! Bye bye.

I want to surround myself with those that bring out the best in me, and she definitely brought out the worst. Her cruel comments had me shaking and turning red. Here's to all the enlightened, sensitive spirits who give me the strength to face such bigots and the hope that most people in the world are not like those few horrid bigots. :)

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day 2012

It is one of the most significant and important holidays of the year today. It is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, also known as the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day of Service, as many choose to dedicate today as a day of service in honor of all Dr. King did for others. In fact, Congress designated it as a national day of service in 1994.

He was a peaceful, non-violent activist who did so much and had so much courage, never resorting to violence no matter what cruelty he faced. He once wisely stated, "I have not urged a mechanical fusion of the civil rights and peace movements. There are people who have come to see the moral imperative of equality, but who cannot yet see the moral imperative of world brotherhood. I would like to see the fervor of the civil-rights movement imbued into the peace movement to instill it with greater strength. And I believe everyone has a duty to be in both the civil-rights and peace movements. But for those who presently choose but one, I would hope they will finally come to see the moral roots common to both." 

What King accomplished is well known and also not fully realized by many. He took away a lot of fear and empowered so many. His actions continued to influence others far beyond his short lifetime. He changed the world. I could never do it justice. I cannot begin to sum it up in my humble blog entry.

He would have been 83 this year. He is remembered in many ways by so many of us. The King Center was established by his widow, Mrs. Coretta Scott King, after his assassination. It is fully called The Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Nonviolent Social Change. 

Here is one of his most memorable speeches, one that has always touched me, one I used to have on a poster in my college dorm room. His words are still so important to hear as we still have quite a distance to go as a society...

Happy Birthday to Sarah Polley

It's Sarah Polley's birthday today. It must be a unique one for her as she is expecting her first child in late February. 

Sarah Polley is an artist, actress, director, and activist I've admired since I saw her as Sara Stanley in Road to Avonlea. I've especially loved the work she's done as an adult, and I enjoy following her career. She's one of the actors and directors I'd most want to work with in the future. She has an upcoming film that she directed called Take This Waltz that I can't wait to see.

The most revealing piece I've read on her is this interview from Toronto Life. However, I dislike it calling her a "shit disturber" and the like when referencing her very serious activism. It is so very important to stand up for what's right; when it's made out to be like people who do so are simply being trouble makers, that ticks me off. However, a lot of interesting revelations about her are in there.

I related to her very much growing up, and I still so enjoy her work. I appreciate all that she gives through her artistry. I hope she had a very happy birthday. 

I Still Love Daiya

I recently posted a blog entry on my dismay at the offensive post and actions of Daiya. I so appreciated the strength I received from the comments on the entry and through Twitter and Facebook from those who supported what I had to say on the topic. Thank you sincerely. 

When you make a mistake, it's important to apologize for it. It's also very important to be sincere and explain exactly what you did so that the one who has been hurt knows that his pain is understood. Also, measures need to be taken to ensure that the mistake isn't made against the person again. I am happy to report that @DaiyaCheese has started on these things in the wake of the offensive posting made by Daiya's social media person on Facebook. 

In the fight for animal rights and a cruelty-free vegetarian lifestyle, we can sometimes feel as though fellow vegetarians are all kindred spirits. With vegans and vegetarians being the minority in this world, who wouldn’t want to latch on to one another and be supportive, right?

Well, when Daiya’s social media person thought it was appropriate to frame a link in such a way that it asked whether being fat should be illegal in America, it really divided visitors to the page in the middle. There were those who fight for respect for all persons equally and those that think it is okay to shame and mock others who are not the size they deem to be socially acceptable. Much bullying went on on the page.

Daiya was previously a favorite vegan brand for vegetarians of all shapes and sizes. Yet, it seemed to show disregard for several of its customers. And, it's my belief that, by disrespecting anyone, you are disrespecting all of them. I personally would not want to continue to shop for the company if it had shown prejudices against others for any other aspect of one’s appearance or religion preference or other such things. Just because I happen to be overweight does not mean that I will not fiercely stand up for those who are sized normally or too thin if they are abused or oppressed.

The bullying by Facebook users on the Daiya page who showed clear and utter size prejudices was extreme. The social media person even left little hearts by some of the comments that mocked those of us who were hurt by the post, belittling our feelings and far worse. From comments that denied that I, as a fat person, deserved sympathy to the one who told me that “big is not beautiful,” I received excessive bullying. As upset as I was by the cruel comments on Facebook, I was in awe of all the support that compassionate vegans showed me. Many came forward express their dismay and standing up to the bigots who were spewing hate and cruelty via the Daiya Facebook page. 

However, I was happy to receive two personal voicemails from Greg, the CEO of Daiya, and I look forward to speaking with him on this matter. He also personally contacted a few of my new friends, and he has promised to teach the staff more on HAES and fat acceptance in the new year. Apparently he was out of town when this occurred, and he has since posted an apology video on the Facebook page of Daiya, and I truly do believe he is sorry. It was far better than the weak earlier apologies. I am happy that he cares and that he is addressing the issue with sincere regret.

I think it’s important to stand up when you see bigotry, intolerance, bullying, or cruelty. For people who are quick to bully those who are different, if the fact that someone is pointing out something ugly about yourself, rather than further bully them, have the humility to admit that maybe you don’t know it all. We all deserve respect regardless of our size or any other personal factor about our appearance, abilities, or differences. 

I am disappointed that Greg did not speciofically respond to the HAES or fat acceptance community talking points, but I do have hope that he will address those issues more thoroughly. I hope he does invite the talented Christa Trueman to educate staff on size diversity and fat oppression through the great work she has done, as he has indicated. Some other very appreciated friends also feel that he should take down the original post altogether, as it led to so much unmoderated abuse of others on the page; I am on the fence on whether it should be taken down altogether. 

I think that Greg has made an excellent first step in showing the error of the post by Daiya, and I look forward to seeing how they move forward from here. I will definitely keep you updated on future progress that's made, and I hope to speak with him soon as well. Thanks, Daiya, for agreeing that size prejudices are wrong. Thanks, Greg, for such a heartfelt and sincere apology. I think it does speak volumes about the ultimate integrity of the company. 

Bullying By a Vegan Company: Why Daiya Got It Wrong

Having been bullied since childhood, I know that others judge me just by looking at me. I am larger than others think I should be. Fatphobia is a socially accepted prejudice. Size privilege is a reality. I have been bullied in one way or another way several times per week since I gained weight shortly after my dad's suicide when I was 10 years old. I was bullied regarding my weight, told every day for a year in high school that I was a "fat ass," called all sorts of names beyond what someone with a conscience could fathom, and eventually bullied to near suicide myself. 

I know bullying.

I am passionate about veganism. I am an animal rights activist who has written on veganism and animal rights issues for a wide variety of national publications. I recently had the honor of writing three articles for "Act'ionLine," the magazine of Friends of Animals, for which I am extremely thankful.

I have been vegetarian for a very long time and am a fairly recent vegan. I made the mistake of assuming that people who can think and be open-minded enough to realize that it is very wrong to eat animal products should also be able to think and realize that size prejudices are wrong. Boy was I incorrect about some bigots! 

Imagine my horror when one of the companies I love as a vegan, so much so that I have felt the need to include photos of it in previous blog posts, posted a really horrible comment and post that I feel was very bullying.

Daiya Vegan Cheese asked over a link labeled, "Being Fat is Now Illegal in Japan :)" (Notice the SMILE.) Over this, the company asked, "Should This Be Adopted in North America?" 

Well, we'll ignore the obvious comparison of a country, Japan, to a continent, North America. I assume they mean the US. But...the important point....

How could anyone not know that is wrong? The company asks if we should adopt making fat illegal on this entire continent? That is so wrong on so many levels. It is bullying. It is further cruelty to people who are already victims of a socially accepted prejudice in this country.

Daiya then made a really half-assed follow up that ignored what they did and added insult toinjury by suggesting that they were "looking for opinions on healhy eating and lifestyle practices"....by bullying others regarding size? Say what?

The company stated, "Daiya Foods would like to thank everyone for actively participating in the discussion on our facebook page. This morning’s post was not meant to upset or offend anyone, but was just a discussion point. The Daiya Foods team was not promoting or agreeing with the practice in Japan, we were simply looking to our fans for opinions on healthy eating and lifestyle practices." 

Daiya has since posted a really half-assed apology that did NOT include an apology for what was truly offensive, the way that the link was presented and the offensive question that was asked. Daiya said, "Daiya Foods believes that each individual is unique and must be respected equally and never judged. We realize that by posting this video, some of our fans have been offended and for this we sincerely apologize. Our intention was to foster open dialogue and certainly was never meant to promote negative stereotypes. We have learned a huge lesson from this experience today."

That is largely missing the point. Eric Herboso said it best in his response on the company's Facebook page. What Eric said was this:

"Daiya, your apology is truthful, but it does not go far enough. You need to write a post that unequivocally says your company believes that people of all sizes are respected and desired as individuals. 

The video is NOT what people are upset about. Rather, we are incensed by the sentence you wrote preceding the video. You acted as though discussing whether we should have that kind of policy in America is an okay thing to do. 

Whether you wanted to or not, you have come off as prejudiced. It may be a socially acceptable prejudice, but it is prejudice nonetheless. You said the equivalent of: 'Should we implement a policy of firing people in wheelchairs in this country?' or 'Should we....fire black people?'

To correct this, you need to write a post that uncompromisingly says you understand what Healthy At Every Size (HAES) is. If you don't yet, you NEED to look it up. You need to post saying you are okay with the Fat Acceptance movement. This needs to be loud and clear. Do not be obtuse. Do not squirm out of a real apology.

I like that you are open and honest about your mistake. I like that you did not delete the video in question. Now all I need to know is that you have learned from this opportunity. I need to know your company, which yesterday was unaware of its own prejudice, now realizes that just because a person is fat does not mean they are any less worthy. You need to be CLEAR in your apology. And, if I were you, I would make the statement come from an operating manager ot at the very least someone high up on your brand team. And it needs to come before you post any other status on any other topic. This needs to be addressed NOW."

Eric was right. Did they address it, though? No. They continued to comment on other posts, ignoring the root of all the hurt they caused. They put little hearts by comments that mocked the fact that many of us were hurt by their prejudiced post.

And the bullying posts that Daiya kept on their page would make your head spin. Such cruelty and size prejudices were revealed. Someday people will really look on those bigots as we do other sorts of bigots from the past. Someone even stated "big is not beautiful," among many other abusive things. The real people who are not beautiful are the ones who judge others' bodies. Being ugly on the inside shows on the outside, too. These comments today have really opened my eyes to how bigoted and prejudiced many vegans are. It's sad.

I am so overwhelmed myself and really upset as I get at fat prejudice that, today, I turn to others who are able to better articulate their sadness over the issue. Sometimes I can, but not today. A commenter named Christa responded in a great way to the bombardment of bullying from fellow vegans on the page. I could not agree more with her statement.

In response to those who were mocking and critizing those of us who felt upset by the fact that Daiya posed the question of whether being fat should be illegal on this contintent, Christa Trueman stated, "It is the height of arrogance and privilege to tell a person who's been victimized that they have no right to their feelings of hurt. Daiya effed up by giving weight bigots an open platform to spew their hatred without then following up and moderating the subsequent comments. It wasn't the video per se that was the problem; it was that they (intentionally or not) paved the way for hateful rhetoric that hurts and alienates a good portion of their customer base to be posted on their Facebook page. To continually harp on and on about how the video wasn't offensive is to either display your complete lack of reading comprehension or deliberately try and reframe the conversation in a disingenuous and obtuse way."

I think these points needed to be explained and addressed. I have many Daiya products in my fridge and freezer, and now I must re-consider the ethics of this company, to say the least.

It is extremely upsetting when, as a person who does not fit society's ideal of beauty and the right size I'm expected to be, to have to deal with prejudice from a formerly favorite vegan brand after a day in which I already faced prejudices out in society. I am very disappointed in Daiya.

Please consider learning about Health At Every Size.